Dear Lupus….You SUCK!

It’s hard to believe that I have not written anything in 3 months. What is even harder to believe is that I have been in a flare since Christmas that does not want to let up. I have a few days here and there where I feel a little better but for the most part I feel exhausted and in pain all the time.

I’ve been trying to get in to see my doctors for the last 3 weeks and finally have an appointment this afternoon with my family doctor. I can’t take feeling like this anymore.

I no longer feel present in my daily life. I just sort of flow along and push through the day with a smile on my face. Once I am home I crash. I’m overly irritable and just want to sleep.

After Christmas I was back on AIP full swing but after 2 months of no improvement in my symptoms and feeling too tired to deal with food prep I said FUCK IT! Will I try AIP again someday? Probably. Will that be anytime soon? Probably not. My focus right now is eating simple, healthy meals that are quick and easy.

Obviously food plays a huge role in how you feel but I don’t think eating a certain way will cure some diseases. Most autoimmune disorders are genetically passed down in families. If you take my family, as an example,  we have Lupus, Sjorgens, MS, Parkinson’s, Hashimoto Thyroiditis, Asthma, Allergies, RA, etc… I can look back at least 4 generations for some of these. I don’t think avoiding certain foods or taking vitamins, or drinking apple cider vinegar would have changed anything.

Anyhow, enough with my rant!

With this flare I had a weird rash develop on my neck. Has anyone every had something that looked like this?


The top image was the day it started and the bottom was the following day. It wasn’t itchy then but felt hot and tender. Since I was unable to get into see my doctor I went to the pharmacy and they suggested cortisone cream. This made a huge difference. It hasn’t completely cleared up but it is no longer hot and tender. No idea what caused it but I am sure the answer will be: Lupus.

Some times when you feel like death it is hard not to through yourself a pity party.

Well bye for now. I hope your day is going better then mine!





Feeling Exhausted

The last couple weeks have not been the best health wise. As you all know I sort of fell off the AIP wagon pretty hard in December. This, along with working full time and getting ready for Christmas and family guests, caused my Lupus to flare. Not fun at all and I am paying the price for it now.

Back at the beginning of December I made an appointment with my family doctor to check up on my neurological symptoms that Lupus seems to be causing – numbness, tingling, dizzy spells, burning and wet sensations on the skin, etc… Due to me having had a cat scan a little less then a year ago and seeing a neurologist who actually suggested the testing  which actually lead to my diagnosis she thinks that if I take the Plaquenil and Meloxicam that these symptoms may subside so again we continue to wait and see.

It was sort of good timing that I had made the appointment for when I had as over the weekend a lymph node along my jaw line was so inflamed that my jaw actually hurt. It felt like my bone was on fire and I had a hard time chewing food. The swelling caused my cheek to turn bright red and get quiet hot as well. Today it feels better, tender but not really swollen.

Do any of you have this happen? Is it just another one of those things that Lupus brings?

While in her office we also discussed an episode I had right before Christmas that caused some debilitating pain in the upper right side of my abdomen. Pain that caused nausea ad made me feel like knives were stabbing me in the gut. Pain that caused me to not be able to bend forward or move to quickly without wanting to scream. But like many of my mysterious symptoms after 3 or 4 days the pain was gone and I felt fine. After she heard about the pain and the location it was in she has decided to send me to have my gallbladder checked.

Wait, WHAT?!

Can Lupus affect your gallbladder? Or is this something additional to all the crap I already deal with?

I’m hoping nothing shows up on the scan and that it was a one time occurrence but I can’t help but wonder if my organs are finally joining in on the fun.

We also talked about my increased anxiety so she also started me on a low dose of Citalopram. Stress can be a big trigger with many autoimmune disorders and being anxious all the time about almost everything can not be helping me in the long run. I have always been an anxious person, even as a child, but 5 car accidents, a hard pregnancy, a child with autism who is always anxious, and mystery symptoms that were only diagnosed 5 months ago has caused my anxiety to skyrocket and become a bit to unbearable. It has started to interfere with my happiness and my families happiness so I am hoping the medication will ease some of that.

What an update! I need to write more often so these posts will be smaller.

Today I feel exhausted. My entire body, my brain, everything feels drained so I’m off to bed to hopefully wake up with a little less pain and a little more energy.

I wish you all good health. Just keep pushing on!